train of thoughts that followed a course of economics

It seems a very, very difficult task to organize my arguments

since too many ideas are revolving in my mind with the speed of thought.

I was never really interested in economics, I even think I've always felt repulsion towards this science because it revolved around the notion of profit. Somehow that greedy way of seeing the world contradicted most of my moral values. But last semester I had to go to a course of introduction into economics, in order to get accustomed to the specialized language I might need in the future as a translator. The things I learned definitely made me think and I decided to write down some of my thoughts, just to clear things up in my head. Please note that I'm not blaming or judging anybody, but maybe trying to persuade myself to change, by expressing and recognizing my own ideas.

I was very surprised to realize that I was actually enjoying learning economics! This was mostly due to the fact that I absolutely love it when I can understand new things. I found out that it's not such a harmful science, economists only want the best for people - in their own material way of dealing with things. They constantly analyze the behavior of human society and they try to propose solutions in order to allocate scarce resources in the best way – sounds like their work is very important.

Yet, no matter how well-intended economists might be, their theories are always based on all the wrong suppositions or notions, which make their proposals inadequate. These assumptions are not good to be accepted as a universal truth, because people will take them as such and they won't even dare to think about changing them.

We're not greedy – we are lost.

For example, it is said that the needs of humans are infinite, because as soon as a need is satisfied, a new one appears. That sounds pretty logical, life would be boring if we didn't have any purpose ahead of us. So one might conclude: greed is human nature. But how can you say such a thing?You don't have to need everything. You can choose to count all the things you already have that you can be thankful for in your life. Just think about it. You can choose not to be greedy any time, it's not human nature.

Let me also tell you about the huge difference between Real needs of humans and Artificial needs, that are created through advertising. Companies want to make a profit – by any means, so they produce something, virtually anything that they can sell. And they'll make you believe that you absolutely need their product – because it's good for something, it looks nice and everyone else has one, you just can't live without it.

We're not lazy – we want to discover other things to do with our time.

I know almost everything seems worth buying, most products usually simplify things for us - like a washing machine. This time one might say that one of the fundamental characteristics of humans is laziness – we invent things that work instead of us. But let's not be so judgmental and see things from a more positive point of view: inventing efficient objects also allows us to spend time doing other things, discover what we might want to do with our lives.

So it is true that good, practical, essential things were invented through the ages. But most products are being produced just to bring profit, to give the false feeling of wealth or luxury. Imagine you never ever heard of... say... shower gel? Would you wake up some day and start longing for it, searching for it at the supermarket? No, you would be well off with good ol' soap. The truth is that you could live a perfectly happy life without half of the things you own (and those you want to buy in the future).

We want to connect with people – there are endless possibilities

One of the reasons why we always want to buy more and more things can be related to"our deepest impulses as social creatures who want to build connection in community"(Re:Imagining Change). This means that people feel that in order to have the opportunity to build relationships they need to own a house, a car, wear the right clothes and be able to hold a conversation on certain subjects (like in school, if you don't know what everyone's watching on TV, you'll probably be silent for most of the time). But why are our communities based on what we own/wear/see? Shouldn't we build relationships on shared values, ideas or by working together on something? People should pay attention to each other, not to their clothes and other objects. So we need to find possibilities to connect to others based on other common points – free time activities or volunteering.

A very frustrating aspect of consuming is that nobody cares whether you actually consume what you buy or not, as long as you buy it. Sometimes you don't even finish your bottle of perfume, you don't even wear half of the T-shirts you own, you haven't discovered all the tricks your cell phone can do – you already want to buy a new one. It just makes you feel good to spend money and keep up with the others. What I thought about is this: what if I can discover other ways to enjoy life and feel good about myself, too? Buying things seems to be like an addiction, an obsession that makes you happy for a while until you need to buy something again. What if I just replaced this obsession with something else? What if I focused my energy on an other activity that made me happy?

I like giving gifts to my friends, I feel good if I can help them when they need me and I also love to feel like I belong somewhere or to somebody. About 4 years ago I went to a volunteering camp and it was pure happiness. There was a huge group of people building and decorating a traditional bath close to a village. They came from several countries and along with the locals they created an amazing place to calm down, have a bath, take a moment to heal and see the beauty in the world. All of us were connecting by working together, learning new skills, living through new experiences and we felt like we belonged together. Everyone had a task to do, their own part in the project – peeling some tree trunks, painting some signs, clearing an area to build a pathway, only as much as you would be able and willing to do. But it was such a great feeling, being part of it, that all you wanted is to do more, make everything even better, because you always felt immediate joy as you saw things coming together. This is one example of obsessing about something more constructive (literally), that makes you feel better. Later I practiced my favorite obsessions, playing the flute and dancing. Now I think it's writing huge texts trying to figure out what I'm about, speaking and listening to people and discovering the world. That's why I'm not going to “get rich or die tryin'”, you see buying things doesn't make me feel good, but living life and connecting to people does.

An other wrong thing about how economists see the world is that they only take into account “scarce resources that can be traded on a market at a certain price”. Which means that in their minds everything can be bought and what you might just “give” to somebody has no value whatsoever (unless you buy it from somewhere). So what is the value of offering to help somebody, volunteering, spending time with old people, raising and educating children, or just cooking for yourself? How does that count into the GDP? Shouldn't you give yourself a salary and pay taxes for cleaning your room? Your country would become much richer. (I wonder if they ever thought of that possibility in some country?!) And who gets to sell the air, the water, fire and land? Where can you buy tickets to look at the sky, to walk down a street in warm rain, to climb a mountain or to swim in the ocean? When do we pay for making friends, building communities, receiving advice from our families or friends? Can you buy the joy of offering help, comforting someone in trouble? The most valuable things can't be bought, they can be experienced.

I admit that every single paragraph is open to dispute. So you are welcome to react if you feel like it!

leginkabb

a minap rájöttem, hogy az apró dolgok hiányoznak leginkább. hogy anyu megkérdezze, mit csináltam ma, öcsi hívjon AgeofMythology-t játszani (és sose megyek), megkérdezzem apát "mithoztál?" mikor hazaérkezik, a kutya felugorjon az ágyba és mellém kucorodjon, anyu rámszóljon: itt az ideje megmosni az ablakot, öcsi mondjon vicceket, apuval is megbeszeljük a dolgokat, játszani egyet a kutyával. aztán pletykáljunk a lányokkal az egyetemen, menjek táncpróbára szerdán, régizene próbára szombaton. hogy jöjjenek komáék, Stefiék s mi is menjünk hozzájuk. s menjek Szentgyörgyre és Kászonba. s főleg öcsém. de ő már nem is apró.

the most

yesterday I realised it's the little things I miss the most. my mom to ask me what I've been doing today, my brother to ask me to go play AgeofMythology with him (and I never do), to ask my dad "what have you brought me?" when he comes home, the dog to jump up and curl next to me in the bed, my mom to remind me it's time to wash the windows, my brother to tell jokes, to talk to my dad, too, to play with the dog. then to gossip with the girls at university, to go dancing on wednesday and to early music rehearsal on saturday. for our family friends to come visit and we would visit them, too. and to go to Szentgyörgy and to Kászon. and the most, my brother. but he's not little anymore.

cel mai mult

ieri mi-am dat seama că lucrurile mici îmi lipsesc cel mai mult. ca mama să mă întrebe ce-am făcut azi, frati-miu să mă cheme să jucăm AgeofMythology (nu merg niciodată), să-l întreb pe tati "ce mi-ai adus?" când soseşte, câinele să sară şi să se cuibărească lângă mine în pat, mama să-mi zică: e timpul să speli geamurile, frati-miu să-mi spună glume, să vorbesc şi cu tata, să mă joc cu câinele. apoi să bârfim cu fetele la universitate, să mă duc la dans miercuri şi la repetiţie de muzică veche sâmbăta. să vină naşii pe la noi, să mergem şi noi la ei. şi să mă duc la Sfântu Gheorghe şi la Casinu Nou. şi mai ales frati-miu. dar el nu mai e mic.

http://www.rustletheleaf.com/

separation and reunion

Few days ago we went to this amazing little bookshop, close to the Notre Dame.

And I found an amazing little book.And in it I read some amazing little things, among which a translation of a poem by Jiang Ju. (click on the photo to read it)
Reunion is one of my greatest passions. I search obsessively to find someone I know (and I haven't seen for a long time) in great crowds. I like to meet good friends by coincidence, by accident. Which is why I sometimes attend various large festivals or celebrations.

There were many many good books up to the ceiling, old photos, messages from the people who loved the place on the wall, cozy little rooms and a piano. I almost finished that book on spot. Almost.

:)

Rev în Paris

Neatza!

Ieri seara ne-am dus la o petrecere cu Cris, Ștef, Denisa și Mihai și erau acolo o mulțime de italieni, niște germani și chinezi. Dar când am intrat, frate, în apartamentul ăla mic (dar foarte chic - a se citi șic), era un zgomot asurzitor, căci ei începuseră petrecerea de câteva ore și erau și italieni pe deasupra. Muzica era încet încet în cameră (germanii dansau super tare salsa) și ei toți țipau și mâncau paste și beau în bucătărie. Dar au fost tare drăguți cu delegația românească. :P Fetele cunoșteau ceva lume, eu pe nimeni, dar i-am mai cunoscut pe parcurs. Am sosit, ne-am instalat bine, și-am început să bem - mai întâi vin bun, dar apoi am găsit vodka :D si un fel de lichior de piersici foarte bun. Și cum am terminat cu astea, am pornit spre Trocadero, să vedem focul de artificii de la turnul Eiffel. Unii dintre noi mai cărau și sticla de șampanie. Și tot zgomotoși pe stradă, dar după ceva vreme țipam și noi, am și învățat câteva cuvinte în italiană. Ne-a cam luat valul :D Și-am mărșăluit până-n Champ de Mars. N-am mai ajuns la Trocadero, că era de cealaltă parte a turnului și ne era lene, ce mai, vedeam la fel și de-aici. O parte a grupului s-a dus totuși mai încolo, dar nu cred sincer c-au ajuns până la Trocadero, mai era doar un sfert de oră până la miezul nopții. Și... n-a fost numărătoare inversă și nici focuri de artificii superbe, doar câteva acolo, răsfirate. (că le e cam frică de teroriști). DAR s-au aprins toate beculețele superbe din turnul Eiffel și încet-încet, între două pahare de șampanie (super super bună!!!) și multe urări de bine în toate limbile, și poze iar ciocnit paharul, s-a schimbat din albastru în auriu. Turnul. Și asta simbolizează că s-a terminat președinția Franței la UE. E minunat așa cum este, nu-mi plăcea cum era albastru, așa e clasic, normal, frumos. Și în momentul acesta toată lumea era beată. Dar cumva am senzația că eram mereu cu un pahar în urmă față de ceilalți. Ștefania tot mă ruga să fac poze, pe când aparatul meu murea, și oricum știu că face poze super nașpa, dar oricum, am făcut poze, am mai oprit și un băiat francez, foarte drăguț, să ne facă poze, el săracul tot repeta că e foarte beat și de-aia nu ies pozele bine - de fapt era din cauza aparatului meu, că nu e ca-n reclamă că-l zgâlțâi și tot ies poze clare, ei nu. Eu deja trecusem de faza în care ziceam ”quoi” la sfârșitul fiecărei propoziții, dar numai Crisu auzea și-mi spunea să încetez. Hai serios, nu cred că-i chiar așa de enervant. Și apoi am început să mergem spre casă. Ne luase șampania rău de tot, dar eu și Denisa eram încă destul de cum se zice, ”sober”. Adică doar amețeam un pic, dar totuși vedeam să nu trecem pe roșu de exemplu (dar tot treceam dacă nu venea vreun autobuz) și știam cât de cât drumul. Nu pot să-mi dau seama care era mai beată, Cris sau Ștef. Dar erau tare hazlii amândouă, le conduceam când pe una când pe alta. Și mai și cântam câte-un pic. Eram tare fericiți, am mai pupat și îmbrățișat niște străini pe stradă, și iar poze. Apoi am ajuns la apartament, am așteptat un pic în fața ușii până ne-au deschis și... Ne-am pus pe paste, chipsuri și prăjituri. Între timp l-am învățat pe Simone (băiatul german cel mai beat) câteva înjurături în română, era foarte dornic să învețe, și ne zicea și el în germană și-n poloneză. Ne-am distrat ca naiba, le zicea foarte bine :P După ce-am devorat cam tot ce-am găsit pe masă, ne-am dus să mai și dansăm un pic. Am dansat un fel de salsa cu Simone, m-a învârtit mult și mi-a părut foarte bine, că-mi era tare dor să dansez cu cineva, să mă conducă și să mă învârte. Chiar dacă nu era dans popular, deși cred că și salsa era un dans popular la origine. După 4 am pornit acasă și atât. N-am făcut toată faza cu gânditul la ce-am realizat în 2008 și ce vrem în 2009, că eram prea duși dar eram fericiți ce mai. Cred c-a fost cel mai nebun revelion al meu de până acum. În toate limbile, cu toți străinii, cu tot alcoolul și luminile și zgomotul și lumea beată și fericită.

La mulți ani! :P

Boldog Karacsonyt - Craciun Fericit - Merry Christmas

Sajnalom, teljesen elromlott a gepem. Raadasul Karacsony kozeleg, semmi sincs nyitva, minden lakotarsam elutazik szoval... tobbet nem tudok netezni. Boldog Karacsonyt mindenkinek.

... ami annyit jelent, hiaba kuld nekem valaki maileket, kommenteket, legalabb "virtualis" puszikat - nem kapom meg. Csutortokig itt maradok Lorientben es ulni fogok a szobamban, nezem a falakat, remelem tanulok egy kicsit, gyertyat gyujtok, talan meg holnap lesz akivel talalkozzak, de utana mar semmi ismerosom nem marad itt. Es csutortokon elmegyek Parizsba es ujra nem leszek egyedul :) Es 3adikan Roxival egyutt terunk vissza es kezdodik a szesszio - amire nem fogok tudni rendesen felkeszulni, mert minden szotaram a gepemen volt, ami be se indul!!! Kicsit ossze-vissza beszelek persze, mert nagyon el vagyok ereszkedve es szeretnek inkabb otthon lenni, menni Kaszonba anyuekkal holnaputan. De nem engedhetem meg magamnak. Raadasul meg mindig nem tudom, hol fogok elni februartol.
Ilyenkor kiderul, milyen egy bena furcsa leny az ember. Levagod az internetrol s a szamitogeprol es teljesen el van veszve, azt se tudja merre induljon es hova. Ja, vagy lehet hogy ez csak en vagyok :)))))))))))) Aztan arra is rajottem, hogy ha most elromlik a telefonom, vagy elvesztem, akkor aztan tenyleg nem fogok tudni kommunikalni sehogy sem. Jaaaaj nehogy... Es azt sem fogom tudni, hany ora, le fogom kesni a vonatot!!!!! Minden annyira kiszamithatatlan... De most komolyan. Nagyon erdekes elmeny lesz ez a het. Nem gondoltam, hogy en is fogok "visszasszamlalni" indulas elott :P

. . . o o o O O O o o o . . .

Imi pare rau, mi s-a stricat calculatorul de tot. In plus, se apropie Craciunul, nimic nu mai e deschis, pleaca toti colocatarii deci nu mai pot sa intru pe net... Craciun Fericit pentru toata lumea.

... ceea ce inseamna ca degeaba-mi trimite oricine mailuri, commenturi, pupici cel putin "virtuali" - nu le primesc. Raman la Lorient pana pe joi si voi sta in camera mea, ma voi holba la pereti, sper ca voi invata putin, voi aprinde lumanari, poate maine voi avea cu cine sa ma intalnesc, dar apoi nu mai ramane nicio cunostinta aici. Si joi ma voi duce la Paris si iar nu voi mai fi singura :) Si pe " ne intoarcem impreuna cu Roxi si incepe sesiunea - pentru care nu voi putea sa ma pregatesc cum trebuie fiindca toate dictionarele mele erau pe calculator, care nici nu porneste!!! Vorbesc cam aiurea desigur ca sunt foarte trista si as vrea sa fiu acasa sa plec la Casinu nou poimaine cu ei. Dar nu pot sa-mi permit. In plus, tot nu stiu unde voi trai din februarie.
In astfel de momente iti dai seama ce fiinta ciudata e omul. Ii tai internetul si calculatorul si e total pierdut, nu stie pe unde s-o ia si unde sa mearga. A, dar poate ca doar eu sunt asa :)))))))))))) Apoi mi-am dat seama ca daca acum mi se strica telefonul, sau il pierd, atunci chiar nu voi putea sa comunic in niciun fel. Ooooo sa nu cumva... Si nici n-o sa stiu cat e ceasul, voi pierde trenul!!!!! Totul e asa de neasteptat... Dar serios. Saptamana asta va fi foarte interesant. N-as fi crezut ca si eu voi face “numaratoare inversa” inainte de plecare :P

. . . o o o O O O o o o . . .

I'm sorry, my computer is totally wrecked. And Christmas is coming, nothing is open, all my flatmates are going away so... I can't go on the internet anymore. Merry Christmas everyone.

… which means if someone sends me mails, comments, at least “virtual” kisses – I won't get them. I stay here in Lorient until Thursday and I'll sit in my room, look at the walls, I hope I'll learn a bit, I'll light a candle, perhaps tomorrow I can meet up with someone, but afterwards nobody I know will remain here. And on Thursday I'll go to Paris and I won't be alone anymore :) And on the 3rd we'll come back with Roxi and the exam session begins – for which I won't be able to prepare as I should, because all my dictionaries were on the computer and it doesn't even start!!! I'm speaking a bit wacky of course, because I'm very sad and I'd rather be at home, go to Kaszon with my parents the day after tomorrow. But I can't afford that. Plus I still don't know where I'll live in February.
At these times you realize what a weird being the human is. Cut him off the internet and the computer and he's totally lost, he doesn't know which way and where to go. Oh, but maybe that's just me :)))))))))))) Then I also realized that if my cell phone broke now, or if I lost it, then I really wouldn't be able to communicate in any way. Oh I hope not... I won't even know what time it is, I'll mis my train!!!!! Everything is so unexpected... Seriously. This week will be very interesting. I wouldn't have thought that I would count back the days until I leave :P

két út áll előttem - la răscruce de drumuri - two paths lie ahead

Végül megkaptuk az ösztöndíjat, tehát kielégíthetem alapszükségleteim nagy részét: fiziológiai szükségletek, biztonságérzet. De ilyenkor megjelennek más, felsőbb rendű szükségletek. Mint például: hovatartozás, önértékelés, szerelem, életem értelme, helyem a társadalomban, stb.
Kuss.
Most megint, jobban mint valaha, az az érzésem, hogy a döntéseim meghatározzák az egész életem. De ez minden pillanatban így van. És én általában arra hajlok, ami jobban esik, amik kényelmesebb (nem feltétlenül jobb). Lássuk, mi lesz belőle.

Gyakran írok ilyen süket elliptikus szövegeket és senki nem ért semmit. Na most azt kell megérteni, hogy éppen ez a lényeg! :P

. . . o o o O O O o o o . . .

Într-un sfârşit am primit bursa, deci pot să-mi satisfac marea parte din nevoile primare: nevoi fiziologice, sentiment de siguranţă. Dar acum apar alte nevoi, de nivel mai înalt. Precum: sentiment de apartenenţă, aprecierea de sine, iubire, sensul vieţii, locul în societate, etc.
Gura.
Acum din nou, mai mult ca niciodată, mi se pare că deciziile îmi influenţează întreaga viaţă. Dar asta e adevărat în fiecare clipă. Şi eu de obicei tind să aleg ce-mi place mie mai mult, ce e mai confortabil (nu neapărat mai bine). Să vedem cum va ieşi.

Scriu deseori texte din astea nebune eliptice şi nimeni nu înţelege nimic. Iar acum tre să înţelegi că tocmai ăsta-i scopul! :P

. . . o o o O O O o o o . . .

Finally we received the scolarship so I can satisfy most of my basic needs: physiological needs, the feeling of safety. But now new needs appear, of a higher level. Such as: feeling of belonging somewhere/to somebody, self-esteem, love, the meaning of life, place in society, and so on.
Shut it.
Now, once again, more than ever, it seems to me that my decisions influence my whole life. But that's true in every second. And I usually choose what I like most, what is more confortable (not necessarily better). We'll see how it goes.

I write quite often these crazy elliptic texts and nobody understands a thing. And now you must see: that's exactly the point! :P